Boredom and Monotony in the Bedroom


by D.C. Tworek


Monday’s post, Women would rather Read about Sex than Have it, elicited some interesting responses from both men and women across the social media channels. Men were literally distressed by the headline – harrowed by an unsettling feeling that they may be unable to live up the expectations set by the steamy trilogy and the fictitious, yet dashingly handsome, Christian Grey.

One male commenter pointed a finger at skewed statistics, suggesting that 44 percent of 400 women is hardly representative of the population at large. And he may be correct, female commenters spewed responses like, “Not meeeee!” or “I’ll take both, thank you very much.” Others said they didn’t really much care for the books – suggesting this is a sign their sex lives don’t need the boost.

On the other hand, women shared and liked the post all over Pinterest and Facebook. So, what gives? Do women truly prefer the pages of an erotic novel over the real deal? Are men to blame for these outcomes?

One story, suggests otherwise. Many thanks to one anonymous blogger, who shed light on how the “antics” of Christian Grey wouldn’t fly with in real-life suburban marriages.

The Spank (intended for mature audiences only):

My husband and I have sex. We do it a reasonable amount for a couple married for six years and with a three year old. And, yes, I read those books. I love those books and I love Christian Grey. Do I want those shenanigans going on in my bedroom – no!

Call me a prude or whatever you like, but let’s get real – do you really want to be paddled during intercourse? Last week, my husband and I were going about it in the bedroom. It was business as usual – a little to the left, me on top, him on top, a little to the right and then flip-over for the “big finish” from behind. I’m not sure what got into my husband, perhaps he had been reading over my shoulder, but I suppose he thought he would try something new.

I felt a swat go swiftly across my rear end. I maintained my position and craned by neck around, just enough to ensure my voice was audible to him and muttered a stealthy, “No.”

We continued our business as usual and I can guarantee you that he won’t try something like that again. I must tell you, a real woman isn’t into the S&M style of Mr. Christian Grey. It sounds great in theory, but bondage and whipping are simply not the best part of the bedroom. In fact, I take great comfort in knowing that my husband and I know the perfect “combo” of moves to get us both right where we want to be at the end of a bedroom session. That is one the perks of a long-term relationship.



Ladies sound off – do you agree with this blogger? Are these fantasies remaining on the pages of the novel simply because women prefer to keep it simple and familiar in the bedroom? Or should your man be worried that a racy novel is all you need?


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