LETTING GO

Hello my BIHS (bioidentical hormone sisters),

 

With the New Year fast approaching it brings with it a mix of regrets and hope. 

 

I regret the years I lost to menopause because of doctors who didn’t take the time to treat me like an individual patient instead of just one in a stereotypical herd.  I regret not knowing about bioidentical hormones sooner.  I have hope that I will be able to continue to live life in a way that I thought was dead when I got menopause.  I have hope that my blog and natural hormone therapy will help others avoid the hell too many of us have had to go through.

 

Three months ago I began treatment with bioidentical hormones.  The big M is always on my mind.  I find myself obsessed with this diagnosis, change or transition, whatever the hell you want to call it.  I HATE it!  What does menopause really mean anyway?  Does it mean I’m old?  Am I more mature (I don’t think so)?  I don’t want to feel defined by my diagnosis.  Maybe I’m just a victim of bad medicine.  Maybe if I had been treated properly from the get go I wouldn’t be so preoccupied- maybe, maybe, maybe, who knows.  What I do know is I’m not quite ready to let go.  I know Oprah is always talking about forgiveness.  You know, we must forgive in order to move on yada, yada, yada.  I know what I should do, but give me a break Oprah, it has only been 3 months.  I don’t submit to forcible forgiveness!  I think I have post traumatic OBGYN syndrome. 

 

Well, I will work on letting go for the New Year, but for now I think I will hold on.  I actually get more done when I’m all wired up over something.  I think getting screwed by 8 physicians deserves a pout don’t you?  Besides, my lips look sexy when I pout.

 

Until next time

JudyB

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Comments: 6

(comments are closed)

 
  • I LOVE your blog Judy! I feel your pain and totally agree with you – keep your edge and pout until you’re ready to move on. Especially if it motivates you!! When New Year gets here, leave the regrets behind, take the hope for a better, fuller life with you and keep movin sista!

    Yours in M,
    SharonO

     
     
     
  • Laura

    Goodness Gracious! I’m laughing over here, but only because I can relate (to a degree)…..

    Okay, so you are 3 months into this….I remember when I was “3 months in”…I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
    Now, don’t get too excited, you’re still on your “honeymoon”.
    You will still have some “tweaking” that is likely needed as time goes on, so pay attention to how you are feeling. And feel HAPPY. Cuz….

    Anger makes you fat! Did you know that? Yep… that emotion alone can change the body chemistry, it increases cortisol levels and send the nutritious food you eat into the fat cells in your middle section, and not burned up as fuel, like you want it to.

    That means all those idiot doctors STILL get to screw you over! With your permission, no less. So YES, forgive. Not for them, but for your waistline. Don’t give them the last laugh. It’s better that YOU have it.
    Don’t you think?

    Yep…Concentrate on how LUCKY you are to have found BHRT at all. Many women are still out there (like Oprah), being brainwashed by their doctors about how they just need to eat less and exercise more, (oh, and take this antidrepressant and that sleeping pill….) when in fact, their entire system is now designed to make them fat and then kill them off.

    But not us.. WE have our bioidenticals.

    Menopause is not a “diagnosis”. It’s a part of life. A great passage if you stay focused on the positive.

    Celebrate it, don’t curse it. Trust me, you’ll be fine. Just forget about thos “other” docs, and spend your time spreading the GOOD NEWS about BHRT.
    That’s where you’ll find your greatest rewards, as I have!

    L.

     
     
     
  • C

    Hey there,

    We have corresponded through email but not on your wonderful blog. One day, I will, as you suggested, leave my story. But for now, hang in there on the bios. I know you will. I’ve been on them for over 2 years and we are STILL tweaking. But within a week of the bios, I was sleeping ohhhh so much better. And when I went to my hormone doc, I could barely lift my head, I was so sleep deprived and depressed. My specialist told my husband, we don’t have time to wait – she needs to get started on pellets NOW. I’ve switched to cream recently, thinking that it would save a bit of money, but am going to go back to pellets, I think. I do believe they are absorbed better into the system than cream. I think once you try it, you will love it. (as of your last email, you were not sure if you were ready for pellets). The procedure is so quick and NO PAIN, and so easy. Trust me, I’m such a big baby about medical stuff. And you don’t have to remember the cream every day. My doc says that pellets work much more efficiently and effectively than creams. And my insurance doesn’t cover either and it might be a tad more expensive with pellets but who cares!!?? If we feel better, who the heck cares???

    I just want you to know that I read your blog FAITHFULLY as I am right there with ya. I still wrestle with irritability but hopefully, when I go back to pellets, that will lessen. It is no fun going through this but if we DO look at it as a part of life, as the previous comment said, and look at the positive, it will help. Its hard, but doable.

    Bless you and hang in there.

    C

     
     
     
  • SharonO,
    I’m working on it sista! Thanks for the Support!
    Judyb

     
     
     
  • Laura,
    I hear what you are saying. But I will never describe menopause as a “great passage.” I know many women feel it is, but not me! Having said that, I do feel more in touch with my body on the bioidenticals. It is still so new to me. What a wonderful description “honeymoon.” That says it all.
    Thanks for the feedback.
    Judyb

     
     
     
  • Hi C,
    Long time no write. Glad to hear you are still doing well. No pellets for me yet. Still some balancing to do. Anyway, baby steps for me!
    Bless You Too,
    Judyb