Marriage Drives Women to Drink

 

Anonymous guest blogger

In a new study published today, headlines are screaming “Marriage drives women to drink.”

I couldn’t help but giggle to myself as I read these headlines and thought of not only my marriage, but of the marriages of my girl friends and family members. As women will do, when we get together, we discuss our relationships – it’s only natural. So, it is not hard for most women to analyze behaviors in men and feel like they understand where it all goes wrong.

Of course, if you read the article, you will discover that women do not drink more because of the relationship, but because men drink more often than women, so the union causes and upsurge in this behavior in the female.

But, my initial thoughts on the topic are far more entertaining. I would have to agree that marriage might drive both sexes to pick up a drinking habit – no matter how much you love one another. It is a constant battle of will and compromise to be married, but it comes with many wonderful things too. Nonetheless, here are the things that might drive a woman to start drinking after marriage:

  • In the middle of the night, you wander half-dazed into the bathroom. You go to sit on the toilet and are abruptly awakened by a splash and the feeling of cold water on your bum – not to mention the sinking feeling that you never reached your intended destination – you have fallen in the toilet because the seat is in the up position. (This is first on the list because it generally affects newlyweds – new wives don’t know to beware of the “up” toilet seat.)
  • Upon walking in the kitchen one afternoon after work, you glance up to see that every single cabinet in the room is open. Panic seizes you and you begin to think that a thief must have been – or still is – in the house searching for valuables. As you turn to run and check on your jewelry, you see your husband came home first. You instantly realize that your jewelry is fine because the perpetrator is there in front of you with his feet kicked up, relaxing in the living room with a mouthful of chips and a handful of cookies – he found what he was looking for and didn’t think closing the cabinets was necessary.
  • Your husband empties the dishwasher (finally!), but despite the fact that he has lived in the same house for more than five years, or 10 or more, he still doesn’t know where the dishes actually go. Therefore, cooking becomes a hunting game for the casserole dish, serving spoons, cooking skillet, measuring cups and similar. Thank goodness you don’t have to catch and kill the chicken too!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I wouldn’t trade him for all the correctly placed toilet seats in the world – and, I am certain that he has a few things on his list about me. (I know I have a terrible habit of getting dressed in a hurry and dashing out the door before I have time to clean anything up!)

 

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