Hello my BIHS (bioidentical hormone sisters),

With the New Year fast approaching it brings with it a mix of regrets and hope. 

I regret the years I lost to menopause because of doctors who didn’t take the time to treat me like an individual patient instead of just one in a stereotypical herd.  I regret not knowing about bioidentical hormones sooner.  I have hope that I will be able to continue to live life in a way that I thought was dead when I got menopause.  I have hope that my blog and natural hormone therapy will help others avoid the hell too many of us have had to go through.

Three months ago I began treatment with bioidentical hormones.  The big M is always on my mind.  I find myself obsessed with this diagnosis, change or transition, whatever the hell you want to call it.  I HATE it!  What does menopause really mean anyway?  Does it mean I’m old?  Am I more mature (I don’t think so)?  I don’t want to feel defined by my diagnosis.  Maybe I’m just a victim of bad medicine.  Maybe if I had been treated properly from the get go I wouldn’t be so preoccupied- maybe, maybe, maybe, who knows.  What I do know is I’m not quite ready to let go.  I know Oprah is always talking about forgiveness.  You know, we must forgive in order to move on yada, yada, yada.  I know what I should do, but give me a break Oprah, it has only been 3 months.  I don’t submit to forcible forgiveness!  I think I have post traumatic OBGYN syndrome. 

Well, I will work on letting go for the New Year, but for now I think I will hold on.  I actually get more done when I’m all wired up over something.  I think getting screwed by 8 physicians deserves a pout don’t you?  Besides, my lips look sexy when I pout.

Until next time

JudyB

I have a new relationship!  No it’s not some hot young guy, its FOOD. 

Like most great relationships this one took me by surprise.  When I began my journey to treat menopause my doc spent a lot of time on nutrition.  Honestly, I did not want to hear about it.  I know what I SHOULD eat, for goodness sake; I have been on every diet out there – probably twice!  I won’t list them all - we all know what I’m talking about.  I wish I had put every dollar in the bank that I have spent on diets; I would be rich for sure. 

I didn’t give my weight even a single thought when I sought treatment for my hormone imbalance (that’s what I will call it from now on, no more menopause, it was a full blown IMBALANCE).  I prayed to GOD to just stop my hot flashes.  I just wanted to go to bed and sleep through the night.  The focus wasn’t to lose weight.  But when the doctor mapped out how to eat, I was pleasantly surprised and listened.  And boy am I glad I did! 

I must say the first few weeks were hard, not because I was on a DIET, but because it was all Greek to me.  I mean the eating so much was hard – it felt backwards.  I was so used to starving myself that my body was in shock when I started eating more often.  Now my body needs food every few hours or my blood sugar drops.  I was angry at first.  I was like “great, now I have a new problem,” but it’s not a problem at all, its NORMAL.  Our body NEEDS fuel. And what I have found is that when I give my body what it needs I don’t think about food all the time.  I do not deprive myself EVER. 

When I eat simple sugar it makes me sick; headache, grouchy, tired.  My sweet tooth is still there, so I eat dark organic chocolate when I want something, it satisfies me.  No carb induced coma either.  No headache.  No yucky feeling.  I think for the first time in my life I have a healthy relationship with food.  Oprah, are you out there? You said you fell off the wagon; you never should have been on the wagon in the first place.  I bet all my winnings from Vegas what she has is a hormone imbalance.  It is no coincidence that her thyroid is out of whack.  (Well that’s my opinion!)  Why is it that so many of us have a new onset thyroid problem just around the “CHANGE” hmmm!  It’s something to investigate.  And trust me I will!

Ok, I must eat my before lunch snack now, so hungry. 

Until later 

Judyb

Hello to my fellow Menopause Maniacs,

I have to share with you a true maniac moment that happened just a couple days before Thanksgiving- this one is going on my records list.

After a long day of running errands I went to Publix to shop for Thanksgiving dinner.  I make this broccoli dish every year.  So, I run in, get what I need, go to the checkout and I can’t believe it- no one in line, what luck! (Or so I thought) The cashier starts to ring me up and there is no price on the foil pan, I say to her “well, I knew that was too good to be true,” she laughs and asks me “what are you making?”  I give her my recipe for my famous broccoli and Ritz cracker dish, I swipe my card, they bag my food and off I go. 

As I put the food in my trunk I see the bag boy running toward me and he says “excuse me but you have to come back in the store, you are not in trouble or anything we just need you back.”  I say “what the hell are you talking about?”  Then the cashier is at my car saying “hey, you didn’t pay for your groceries.”  I said “I most certainly did! I swiped my card.”  “Yeah but I didn’t finish the transaction” she says, so now they remove my bags, put them back in the cart and we walk back into the store, all 3 of us.  I feel like a crook.  Talk about the walk of shame!  The manager is waiting for us, I wanted to die!  So now they admit it’s not my fault. “Ok, whatever” I say “just ring me up I want to go home.”  He rings me up, I swipe again, and off I go. 

After I load my car for the second time, close the trunk, and get in, I look at the receipt and it says $87.00 for broccoli!!  So, I unload my car, go back in with my cart full of food, and go to the counter.  Now I’m pissed big time!  I say to the manager “look at this! $87.00! This is wrong!”  He goes in the office comes out and says its right. 

So I shove the receipt in his hand and start yelling, “Look at this! Do you see a turkey or soda? How about ice cream? Do you see any of those items in my cart? I have broccoli! Broccoli” I scream!  “You know what?” I yell, “Give me a refund and I will find a Publix that knows what they are doing!”  He is trying to calm me down but it is not working.  I now have the attention of the whole store as I scream “I just want to go home!  Its 4pm, I’ve been in the car all day! Do you know I haven’t even peed since 8am?!  Just give me my money back please I need to leave!”  He begs me to listen, “I just want to give you a gift card for your trouble that’s all,” he says, I tell him I don’t want it!  “Please let me go home” I repeated over and over. 

Finally a women manager comes over, takes control and re-rings the food again.  She gives me $87.00 in cash, my refund and now the male manager, the one that knows I need to use the bathroom really bad, hands me a $25.00 gift card and says “I am so sorry for your trouble.”  I say “I know you are. Me too!” 

The moral of the story is I didn’t flip out the first time thanks to my natural progesterone, but I had missed lunch and 2 snacks.  My blood sugar, no doubt, was low.  This is full blown proof that the BodyLogicMD nutrition program that I talked about last blog really makes sense.  I think any reasonable person would have been pissed.  But when you mix menopause with low blood sugar what a cocktail!  Dr. Lee told me not to leave the house without a snack in my purse and I never will again. 

Oh by the way, I will give the gift card to a needy family.  I feel guilty using it.

I hope you had a great turkey day!

JudyB

Well, as we all know I have started seeing Dr. Lee at BodyLogicMD of Miami. He has basically SAVED my life by treating me CORRECTLY and ACCURATELY with bioidentical hormone therapy.

Hear that all you idiot doctors I used to deal with?!?!

I digress.

I know a lot of you are curious about BodyLogicMD and what exactly goes on there, especially during your first visit. Here are two videos from my first visit with Dr. Lee, where he describes the results of my hormone testing, and a bunch of other good info.

Basically, I am in menopause hell during these videos. ENJOY!

xoxo
Judy B.

A month or two ago, I would have told you my two biggest saviors in life were Ben and Jerry, and that they lived in a magical ice cream factory in Vermont.

Not anymore! Although I’m still partial to Phish food.

So, I finally bit the bullet and went to see a hormone therapy specialist for this menopause shit. I found some mentions about BodyLogicMD in Suzanne Somers’ books and I decided to contact them. They are a group of anti-aging physicians that deal only with hormonal issues. I was skeptical at first, but honestly, I feel like this could really help me.  I chose to go to Dr. Lee, who is located in Miami – near my home. Seriously, he is SO amazing, he is the first doctor I’ve met in years that I didn’t dream of killing in creative ways.

Before I went to the visit, I took a saliva test, so that he could tell what was going on with my hormones.

We took some videos during my visit, so that you guys could see what was going on.

Check out their hormone therapy Web site if you are interested. I’ll keep you all posted, promise!

Xoxo
Judy B.

I just wanted to let you know more about why I decided to start this blog…and to let you all know how much I appreciate your comments.

I started this blog out of pure hormonal rage. That is, my anger towards all the docs that have MIS-treated me, MIS-diagnosed me, and just plain PISSED me off. I feel so empowered by all your comments. I knew I was not alone. With your help we just may change the way women are treated. We may not change the way main-stream medicine treats us, but now we have the power and knowledge to find docs that actually know how to help us, and how to use bioidentical hormones.  Keep the comments coming.

Your fellow maniac,

Judy B.

In the middle of a wonderful dream involving chocolate silk pie and a 1960 Thunderbird, I woke up screaming random curse words. Since then, I’ve been awkwardly sitting upright in bed and drenched in sweat – all courtesy of our dear friend MEN-O-PAUSE. Is it a coincidence that menopause starts with the word MEN?

Probably not.

It’s just another way for the man to keep a strong woman down. Making her obsessed with ice cubes and ceiling fans.

I digress.

I’m watching the news, why are all the men so damn ugly? They can be fat, balding, and two cards short of a full deck while all the women on TV have to look like the just walked of a beauty pageant stage in Texas. They are currently talking about “why men cheat” – obviously a very news worthy topic. (insert sarcasm here)

I will tell you why men cheat Mr. Morbidly Obese Anchorman and Shania Twain Look-Alike Anchorwoman: the thought of sex makes women want to vomit when they are going through menopause. So, our husbands are more likely to cheat. Rocket science.

There. I said it. It’s true. Don’t shoot the messenger. Even if Brad Pitt wanted to throw down with me in the sack I wouldn’t. I’d tell him to get his ass off me. Then I’d roll over, take a bite of Snickers, and drift off to sleep.

xoxo
Judy

If I ever get to meet Suzanne Somers, I may bow down and kiss her on her red-carpet-walking, more expensive than my weekly salary, probably-Italian shoes.

I’ve been spraying myself with estrogen spray pretty much every hour on the hour for the past week or so. I am getting extensively paranoid about the whole blood-clot thing, despite my baby-aspirin routine. Last night I decided to get on the Internet and do some research on menopause and hormones. Everywhere I clicked, there was Suzanne, talking about how awesome her life is and how great she feels. Yeah, yeah, yeah… *Sigh* My life blows in comparison. I get it Suzanne.

I have become obsessed with this smiling, 60-ish woman who looks and feels better than I do and I’m sure-as-hell-not 60 years old.

After prodigious Googling, I had watched essentially every video clip of her available on the Internet, with some old “Three’s Company” clips thrown in to satisfy my nostalgia. God, even then she was perfect wasn’t she. Bitch.

Can’t wait to pick up her books to see what other kind of advice she has and if it might help.

Xoxo
Judy

The estrogen replacement therapy that lady-doc prescribed me is having literally, NO effect. I have even taken it upon myself to increase my dosage. Now, as a nurse I must add DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME.

So, I have now become convinced that the pharmacist is giving me old estrogen that doesn’t work and I am now fixated on plotting his demise.

Yesterday, I went to Walgreens, and flipped out full-throttle on the pharmacist. The menopause maniac came out in full force, and I demanded to see the estrogen supply so I could check the expiration date myself.

It was not expired, or even remotely near expiration.

Must be the hormones.

xoxo
Judy