The Mystery of Male-Female Communication

By Dr. Jennifer Landa

There’s no time like Cupid’s holiday to talk about sex and relationships. Even if you are young, in perfect health or have your hormones balanced, relationship issues and communication problems can get in the way of achieving a satisfying sex life.

In order to remove many of the obstacles of intimacy, both parties have to understand one very important concept: men and women communicate differently. John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, has built a fortune on this very real fact of life. My favorite example from Gray’s book is quite appropriate on this “holiday.” Women value daily, small expressions of love and commitment, while men believe that one grand gesture will fulfill her need for love and attention for an extended period of time. What men often fail to understand is that she does not care about the grandeur or expense of the gesture – she just wants it to be heartfelt and often. Gray suggests, “Instead of giving her a dozen roses, give her one rose every day!”

There are a vast number of ways men and women differ. The very essence of conversation draws a line between men and women. Typically, men involve themselves in conversation for achieving a purpose or solve a problem. Women on the other hand, view conversation as a means to create intimacy and bond.  This why conversations like, “How was your day?” often elicit answers from men, such as “Fine,” or “Good.” Women will expand on what happened that day, regardless of how menial the occurrences may be because engaging in conversation is a bonding experience.

There is no “quick fix” or “cure-all” for communication issues in relationships. It takes patience and understanding to achieve a lasting, happy relationship. Just understanding how and why your partner communicates the way he or she does will help you learn how to respond and mold to one another. It is not a perfect science, but it is worth working for every day. Just as you strive to optimize your health and your sexual desire, you should invest equal time and energy into your relationship – this is truest formula for lasting libido.

You can get more tips for improving libido and enhancing your relationship and your sex life inside Dr. Jennifer Landa’s new book, The Sex Drive Solution for Women. Available at major book retailers and on


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